Attitude Adjustment
This is how I've been feeling lately. LOL!
I am so in the need a major overhaul of my attitude. I've been completely moody so far this year. It's June people - it's time for an adjustment! I attribute some of it to the fact that I spent the first couple of months of the year with a broken arm, but that's only part of it. I need to accept the fact that I can't control everything (actually, I can control very little) of what goes on around me or how people behave. The negative feelings are such poison. I can, however, control how I act and react to the numerous small, seemingly insignificant events that tend to get me all twisted up. I can also try to teach my kids to be the best they can be and not worry about what other people do around them (unless it's dangerous). I am my own worst enemy and I have all of these ideas of what I should be instead of being happy about who I am right this moment. It's almost amusing to me. When I was a kid, I never worried about what other people thought of me. I think it must be due to the fact that I moved around so much. I've found that since becoming a mother, I tend to care more. I'm not going to sit here and say that no one should care about what anyone thinks about them, because there are people in my life that I will always seek approval from and I'm OK with that. But to worry about what anyone else thinks?? It's too exhausting and it leads nowhere. I have also been putting terrible stress on myself to really go all out on this photography thing. I love photography - I hate business. LOL! So, for now, I think I will just do what I've been doing. Taking the odd job here and there and loving it. No more freaking out about marketing plans, packages, web pages and contracts. There will be time for that later. For now, I plan on continuing to learn and grow and taking photos of my favorite subjects. (and hope that the odd jobs continue to trickle in just because I LOVE taking photos of other people too).
I just need to work on letting things go and not holding a grudge. I recognize these poor qualities in myself and they will probably never go away completely - I don't know that I want them to, but I do need to get them under control since the only person affected is me (and at times my family).
As part of my attitude adjustment, I need to remind myself of what I am truly grateful for:
I am so in the need a major overhaul of my attitude. I've been completely moody so far this year. It's June people - it's time for an adjustment! I attribute some of it to the fact that I spent the first couple of months of the year with a broken arm, but that's only part of it. I need to accept the fact that I can't control everything (actually, I can control very little) of what goes on around me or how people behave. The negative feelings are such poison. I can, however, control how I act and react to the numerous small, seemingly insignificant events that tend to get me all twisted up. I can also try to teach my kids to be the best they can be and not worry about what other people do around them (unless it's dangerous). I am my own worst enemy and I have all of these ideas of what I should be instead of being happy about who I am right this moment. It's almost amusing to me. When I was a kid, I never worried about what other people thought of me. I think it must be due to the fact that I moved around so much. I've found that since becoming a mother, I tend to care more. I'm not going to sit here and say that no one should care about what anyone thinks about them, because there are people in my life that I will always seek approval from and I'm OK with that. But to worry about what anyone else thinks?? It's too exhausting and it leads nowhere. I have also been putting terrible stress on myself to really go all out on this photography thing. I love photography - I hate business. LOL! So, for now, I think I will just do what I've been doing. Taking the odd job here and there and loving it. No more freaking out about marketing plans, packages, web pages and contracts. There will be time for that later. For now, I plan on continuing to learn and grow and taking photos of my favorite subjects. (and hope that the odd jobs continue to trickle in just because I LOVE taking photos of other people too).
I just need to work on letting things go and not holding a grudge. I recognize these poor qualities in myself and they will probably never go away completely - I don't know that I want them to, but I do need to get them under control since the only person affected is me (and at times my family).
As part of my attitude adjustment, I need to remind myself of what I am truly grateful for:
- My 3 boys. My life would be so very lonely without them. There isn't a day that goes without a smile, a hug and kiss and an "I love you" passed between the four of us.
- The rest of my family. We are truly blessed to have our parents in our lives (and of course Uncle Brett). Their support and encouragement is priceless. We don't see them often enough, but maybe that's something we can work on.
- The ability to provide. Brandon and I are lucky enough to have jobs and be able to provide for our family.
- Faith. We have enough faith to get up every morning no matter what kind of mood we're in or what kind havoc "Murphy" has created in our lives and know it will all turn out OK.
- Integrity. In the way I handle my work, in the way I handle the people around me; both family and friends. I don't purposely promise more than I can deliver and I am always willing to lend a helping hand.
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