My Chaos -

8. Lunch - This is what Joshua and I had for lunch today.  Bryan refused because of the green stuff.  It's a recipe I got off of Pioneer Woman's web site.  Only, I tried to lighten it up a little.  We used thin, whole wheat bagels and light cream cheese instead.  It also had cucumbers, avocado, onion, a slice of muenster cheese and a slice of cheddar.  She put alfalfa sprouts on hers, but we chose to skip those.  9.  BIG - That was my attempt at making Calzones for dinner.  It didn't go well and they didn't taste good.  My boys were sweet though and ate them (the insides anyway).  They were surprised when I was the one to say they were pretty awful.  The crust was a Pillsbury canned crust and it didn't taste good and it was REALLY dense.   16.  This is the beginning of my sign.  Well, it will be when I'm done trying to make it pretty.  :) 18.  Plate - Don't laugh, but I love ...

I'm feeling so much better about things than I have in such a long time.  I feel more organized.  Maybe only a little more, but I'll take it.  I feel closer to my family and like we're all in good places in our relationships.  I feel like I have plans and like I'm making progress on those plans.  I feel like I've been sad and mourning the loss of certain friendships for way too long.  I think I've finally accepted the loss and accepted the fact that I will never really know the reason for it.  I'm way more optimistic about getting myself in more of healthy state of being.  I'm making small changes at a time, but they are real, impacting changes.  I have more energy than I've had in a long time and I'm putting it to good use.  I've let go of some of the stress and hoping to let go of some more of it; it's OK if I'm not always in control...  Life's too short - why should I agonize over every little detail?  I'm just not will...

Brandon decided to take Little B out to work on his Personal Fitness merit badge tonight.  Shorty and I decided to tag along with them to play while B worked. My little monkey.  He did say it was hard to hang on since it's hot outside and his hands were sweaty.  Such a sweet big brother trying to help Shorty feel like he could do a pull up too.  I love when they are sweet to each other... Time to run a mile.  Bryan took a little extra time to get ready.  We figured that Joshua would only run a quarter mile, but he kept on going and going and going!  Bryan got tired at one point, but in his defense, his legs were already sore from a week at camp. He eventually got back to running though. Oh, how this looks speaks a thousand words!  Good thing he kept them in his head.

11. Letter - I could have interpreted this to mean a letter of the alphabet, but instead decided to think of it as a letter.  You know...one of those things that you put into an envelope and stick in the mailbox...  Bryan happened to be writing a letter to his Grammy, so I thought it was a better photo op than the alphabet. 17. My addiction - Scrapbooking supplies.  Yes, I know, seek help...but it just makes me happy.  :)

15.  Finger - I decided to take a photo of Brandon and my wedding rings.  I don't think we've done this since the day we got married more than 14 years ago. 1.  Self Portrait - I hate taking photos of myself.  Especially these days.  I took this one right after spending 30 minutes on the treadmill.  Hopefully the next self portrait shows some improvement.

For the past 14 years, I've had a yearly goal to lose weight and get in better shape.  Every year, it's been a failed goal.  It's something I want to do, so I keep putting it back on the list of goals for the year, but it's obvious that I haven't wanted it enough.  Here I am so many years later and I wish I was in the condition I was in 14 years ago.  It just keeps getting worse and there really are times when I don't understand it.  I've been more active in the past 5 weeks than I have in a very long time and I'm actually a pound heavier than when I started, making this the heaviest I've ever been. One of the other goals I've had repeatedly over the years was to get out and do more things with my kids.  See more things.  Have more fun.  But here's the rub...  I'm not comfortable doing a lot of things I'd like to do with them.  Either I just physically can't do them or it's embarrassing - both to me and I'm sure to them. ...

3.  Best part of the day - Sunset.  On a good day it means that I'm done being busy and I can relax and enjoy my family. 10.  Favorite Color - I swear this isn't a total copout just because I was already taking pics of dusk.  It really is one of my favorite colors - I love all of the pinks and oranges from the setting sun. 12.  Texture - B's new pillow.  I love the fuzzy pillow case and the crisp new sheets.  It makes me just want to dig in and snuggle. 13.  Open - I don't really like water.  I've always pretty much hated water.  My photo is the open water bottle, but it really represents my attempt at opening my mind to the idea of drinking water.  It's healthy, your body needs it and lord knows I could use the benefits of more H2O. 14.  Building - I love that B loves to build.  It doesn't matter if it's Legos, Lincoln Logs, blocks, or anything.  He's good at it too.  I love seein...

So, I've been stalking this one blog lately and I've decided to try one of her monthly photo a day challenges.  She puts up a list of photos to take - one per day for the month.  Photo a Day - July   I don't post comments on her blog or share my photos with her or her readers, but I will just put the, here.  I'm really bad at remembering to do it daily, so I already have some catching up to do.  Maybe that will be my project for this weekend.  2.  Busy - My kitchen keeps me oh so busy with three boys in the house.  I can never quite keep it clean or organized.  Sometimes it drives me insane, but I do the best I can with a little help from the guys. 4.  Fun - We had lots of fun on the 4th of July.  Shorty and I were the first ones in the pool and spent some time just floating and chatting about everything his ever so curious mind could think of. 5.  On the Floor - Yes, this is what the floor of my scrap room loo...

The 4th of July was a real low keyed event for us this year.  We didn't go see fireworks this year which was kind of a bummer, but Brandon and I were just kind of tired and wanting to stay close to home.  We did have a great day though.  We cooked out on the grill and made yummy sweet stuff.  We swam and swam and swam some more.  We also watched lots of programs on the history of the United States on the History channel.  We talked and played and had a great time just being together - just the 4 of us. And here are some of the more entertaining diving board acrobatics.  Mom was in charge of not only photographing the chaos, but I had to give each jump a score - these are after all, Olympic athletes.  :) Shorty's frog like "back dive" didn't score very high... B's Canon ball was superb, but we don't get to see the splash here since the judge was too afraid of getting her baby (camera) wet. Shorty's s...

Little B had his last appointment for the study he was on last month.  It's hard to believe it has been 4 years already.  It just flew by.  We've been going to Children's to see these 2 wonderful women every 3 months for FOUR years!  This marks the end of daily shots, hopefully for good.  Bryan has grown a lot in that time.  Way beyond what we expected - so pleased! This is what a sarcastic teenager looks like... "Yes, please take more blood!" It always freaks people out that he insists on watching what they are doing.  I think it's pretty funny.  Nurse R. is used to his odd little quirks though. This is Little B's awesome doc!  She is soooo excited about doing these studies and she made Bryan really excited about it - like he was making a real contribution to science.  She is a great doctor and so much fun to talk to.  When Bryan started this study he was WAY shorter than she was.  No...